RETURN TO KENYA

                              RETURN TO KENYA
       I was comfortably seated in my house when Shallet my niece awoke me from my siesta. It was a Saturday siesta. She served us the lunch. My son Wilhem having been deeply engrossed in his cartoons on the television could not hear anything from his big sister.
        Shallet was a student of medicine. Quite often, she would pay visit at my home. My home was a home for all my family members. Those from Shonnet’s side and those from my side. But they paid visit during holidays as other days I was busy and my son in school. As I watched the telly, I became deeply engrossed on a musician who sang a song titled- baby I’ll wait for you. Wilhem too became alert and watched the musician with a sympathetic stare. When the song was over, he asked, “ Daddy! When is mum coming home?” Having been a scholar, I realized that this was the time  Sigmund Freund called phallagic stage. A stage in which sexual energy is attached to genitals. Oedipus and Electra complex stage. Wilhelm taking after his father took out a pen and his note book and decided to write a poem. I too took out my poem which previously I had written in my workplace unable to concentrate without my baby.The poem read:
                                          WHY I WANT YOU
                                  Brown but not too brown, slim but not too slim
                                   Short but not too short, tall but not too tall
                                  She is of medium size!
                                  Your teeth are as white as snow, oh! they can destroy me
                                  Your eyes cool on specs, your hair cool for me to caress
                                 They say size eight, I say you are my size one
                                You are my number one, I compare you to none
                              When I will be done, having adjourned
                             My single life, without having mingled
                            I will match to my priest, and give him at least….a gift
                         After many were messing, and their dressing
                       Godly child we raise, and name her after my mother
                       Slim but not too  slim, short but not too short, tall and not too tall
                      I miss you Shonnet.
               Before long, Shallet was calling us from a world of our own. Wilhelm was deeply engrossed in writing his poem. I was busy reading mine! I looked at him and thought- as the father as the son. “ Hey! Son! Enough of that now. Back to eating now. My niece helped him eat and we all went to sleep.
             Finally the long awaited day came- return to Kenya. It was my day to go for my girl at the airport. As a cool guy, I decided I would only inform  my closest family members and my most closest friends. Most of my friends such as Kotzwinkle Mathison, Hantolostro Avonhontlon and Magoto Maguru had most beautiful cars. These ones were to accompany me to the airport. In total we had four cars. Having lived with My niece as the mother of the child- indeed am grateful to Shallet most, I decided I would not leave her behind. She would accompany her small Brother Wilhem.
           I warned Hontolostro against leaving his wife behind. He was a longtime comrade and I knew all his ways. He did not prefer taking  his wife out to his chaps on the grounds that she was not beautiful enough. On the contrary, Magoto Maguru fancied ferrying all his family and including his neighbors especially occasions that feast accompanied the tour. I too warned him.
     I called Shalletmed, shortform of Shallet a student of medicine. I had realized that, this name gave her extrinsic motivation as well as daughter’s joy. She felt like I was the real dad. I asked her to prepare Wilhemscho, shortform of Wilhem Scholar.
        As I waited for my two kids hands on my steering, I remembered my Apple ipad Air 2-9.7. I switched it on. The latest ipad model technology. This would help solve out snapshots issue at the airport. Wilhem came ferried by her big sister. He felt a feeling of love as he conversed with her. They checked in Wilhem sitting on her sister. Just before we could take off, Wilhem shouted out, “ Good heaven! My poetry notebook! Daddy, hold on. I thrive on my pen and a book!”
        I met my three friends waiting for me at the Anniversary towers. Their cars were on signals waiting for me. Behind one, was my brother Kumeria. He was the one to carry my mum.
 I have always wondered why my mother gave us crooked names- Maina, Kumeria and Gutua. Kumeria meaning-Swallowing and Gutua meaning-spitting. My mother has always told us stories about my brother Kumeria. In the hut, where mum and us resided, we used to scramble for food. When prayers were long, Kumeria would open eyes and begin swallowing food. My mother has always reminded us of how  Kumeria used to swallow hot rice without chewing. He would later look at us with a sympathetic stare that suggested that he had taken nothing. We would all sympathise with him and share him some food. We therefore called him Kumeria.
            Gutua is our most slimy boy. He used to spit food when mother nursed her. My good mother would roast gikobokobo type of bananas, chew  and take out for my brother. My brother has lived slim as a result of that. Were it not for his brown most beautiful wife, he would now be dying in hell. And did I tell you of the stories about his wife and my wife? His wife Jannet and my wife Shonnet schooled in the same international school. This is a sheer coincidence of how two poor boys married from most rich family’s homes.
         Sorry, I was side trapped from my story.Kumeria never saw any bump, with his primio car, he seemed to swallow all the possible bumps the way he did it in our hut.
        We had now passed the by-pass on the University way. Inside my car was Wilhelm busy watching western songs. He felt awesome now that he wonna meet his mother.
          As jam began setting, I pulled my dark glasses up my head- an accident had just happened! Being on a Saturday, many men were busy taking their girlfriends out as others were busy going for theirs at the airport. We extricated ourselves and out we were.
       As we arrived at the airport, it was quarter to 11:00 a.m. We were on time as Shonnet was to land at 11:00 a.m. As we approached the entrance, the  sky was hazy and spanned. That day was a bit hell-too much check ups. Inside my  car, I opened the boot and the security officers did their job. Kumeria and the rest passed through the same rigorous  and intense process.
      We all got out and had fun. Mum with us, was the source of our pride. Wilhelm immediately clung onto her. Shalletmed and the rest of us in dark glasses began sunbathing as we took  some water from our different bottles.
      The airport looked clean and holy. It smelled disinfectant. The aircraft pathways looked so clean. The grass and the flowers gave an impression of heaven- the place we shall all go! The place looked so cool and awesome. White and black men passed talking through the nose. At one point Wilhem became an obstruction to them as he clutched my mum’s dress. As a fluent speaker of English, he apologized to the two gentlemen who by then  were deeply engaged in their talk. The two men looked at the small boy and gave him a grin. I sniggered at my son. He felt shy and ran to me.
      A plane was seen approaching the ground from the sky. This was a special airline from Los Angeles. ‘ Hey! Daddy mummy is inside there.’ Said wilhemscho pointing at the aircraft.  We began strolling in bright happiness. I took out my ipad and the rest were ready to take the snapshots before caught pants down. I saw my mum smile, I remembered -Jailed for love- a story I have always given. The plane at first didn’t appear like it was in a high speed but upon hitting its path way, it became almost impossible to have its snapshot.
The plane finally came to a halt. We could now see its nose and tail. The blades looked so huge. The propeller had not halted yet. We waited for our girl to alight. We too waited for the plug door to open. I kept wondering where the air stair will emerge from. We were there, standing waiting the A380 plane spit 550 people out. Our eyes remained  glued on it. Mum’s eyes were the best!
           It was amazing to see mum spot Shonnet from the tail. Everybody jumped screaming  when she unknowingly looked at us. Kumeria’s wife jumped up and down as the others joined her saying, “ Oooh my God, this  is Shonnet, aki ni msupuu- she looks beautiful, wah!”
             Shonnet walked out slowly at first, she stood at the plug door and looked below her. “ B..A..B.I.E were here.” I screamed unknowingly.M..u..m, jump of the cliff” said Wilhem. Before long, Wilhem could not be contained by her big sister, he slipped out of her hands. Seeing this, I too foolishly ran taking after Wilhem’s words, “Mum.. Mum…Mum….’’ Before long, father and the son were climbing up the air stair competing who would meet his girlfriend and mum first.
           Shonnet  full of joy waited me on the left hand as she too waited Wilhem on the right hand. Two babbies! Only that one was a big baby! Wilhelm being swift, was the first to reach her mother and Shonnet full of mother’s love began kissing him. I, full of envy was there on time. I disrupted theirs and began mine. She, my most! Most! caring girl decided to multitask. When lover’s love outdid the mothers love, I began kissing her like hell. All the world was watching at this folly. White men were busy capturing the kisses with their camera’s so as in the next minutes’ they would post in their  social media and so on. I was not interested with their camera, at that time I didn’t know whether they were cameras, camelas or Kamirithu. All I knew was great separation. As we matched down, I felt the spirit of Obama the president of America creep in- they way he feels as he alights. Immediately, I began playing the part. I waved hands to the crowd which wasn’t responding. I even stood and asked my first lady to wave at the citizens of this alien nation. For a while, my wife looked at me in disgusted. As for myself, I was out of my mind. I was now busy talking with unknown citizens, “ Yes, am the president, you didn’t know me? Ahahahahhh! Am the Obama. You say am not Him? Hhhhhhaaaa! Should I talk through the nose? Yes, I’ll be here today, Syria must stop this war…Yah I came with my wife….please don’t spend time on her if you are not ready for a tooth extraction mission. Sure! She is my first and last lady.’’
               Having seen me like this over the years, my caring girlfriend with his now worried son gave me a small caring slap to wake me from my reverie. “ Mummy, why is dad behaving childish?” I heard hazily Wilhem asking. I came back and felt embarrassed. ( story continues in the next title: Journey to Kimpsinski )
  

JOURNEY TO KIMPISNKI

                         JOURNEY TO KIMPINSKI
        Our journey to Kimpinski hotel in Westlands was a success. My best time having been achieved there! A place that I will forever miss to be.
     We took the Chiromo road and off we were. This was one of the most luxurious hotels in Kenya. It was the best place for: weddings,culinary, sporting activities such as cycling and skating, home of all European culture, a cool place for romance- and that’s why we went there, golf, swimming and so many others. This place was well known for its popular breakfasts and ambiance. Its dinner was the most striking one! Families would join into a table and have their best cultural and western food.
           We arrived at around 6:00 p.m as we had visited a few stop overs. The security men did their work and we with our wives and our mum parked and got in. wilhem was now a “toddler” whom you could not imagine. He was with his mother ferried on her chest. The mother was amused by his son’s wisdom. He was quick to think and sharp in all aspects asking her too many questions.
                Around the table, mum gave thanks for his only daughter. The one who would come and help her peel bananas. The one, through her efforts In form three, caused her healing of the one eye. She had managed to convince her father to take her to the hospital.
              We were served with hot small towels heated at high temperatures. We used them to wipe our hands. We then began with appetizers. At around nine, we began munching food. The ancient problem arose again- Kumeria- to swallow, began swallowing hot beef, rice, irio and the likes. It was too bad of my brother. But anyway, I could not help.
         We sat on a five feet wide bed. It was an ideal place for marathon rehearsal. I could not believe I was with Shonnet. I remembered the night in which the banana leaves were silent, to just see whether anything would take place. The wall later began smiling, and later laughing hysterically. Those were the times of- Jailed for love.
          Out of the long journey, I realized that Shonnet was tired and because I wanted to have her the whole night- and indeed, I could not get enough of her, I asked her to join me to the hot bathtub. There inside, we took out outer pants and there we were, sprinkling water to each other. I really liked these childish jokes with my girlfriend. We were like two big babies playing with  hot water.  We began playing with foam bubbles. I would hit any that appeared in her waters. Inside the water, I did her a cool nice massage which made her feel proud of his only guy. A guy who would die for her. Her and her only!
       When we were through, we went to our awesome bed. We sat down facing each other, our legs tucked inside the white bed covers. “ My love, most beautiful girl in the Universe… now tell me how it has been out there. I really missed you like heaven! Hell knows how I starved without you. Satan knows how I cursed him each day! How was your journey inside that big bird? Please begin from the airport, arrival , stay and finally your return flight. Hehe.… beibs, chance is with you my love.” I said. Before she began talking, she looked at me. She felt shy- the way in which girls feel shy in a sexy way. Her lower lips twitched, I interpreted it was too in a sexy way. She finally said, “ Stop looking at me, you are making me too shy!” when I closed my eyes but still smiling- I heard a soft warm kiss on my lips. She had aroused the holistic marathon.
           She, holding my chin with her most soft hands, began her story out: “ I want to sincerely thank you for your support, even as I was there, I did not stop from thinking how good you were to accept to stay with my kid as I was in school. I must begin by saying that: when you left me my beibs, I began crying for my kid and you. I felt a big separation between me and you. I have never found a good friend like I have in you Maina. I purposed not to betray your love and sincere faithfulness. I just love you Maina. If the world was to collapse, I would only want to die with you! Die with you in your arms!
         Allow me my baby to drop the sorrowful side of my life and show you the real joy. You sent me out and I must present the better  side of it. Now….now….when I was climbing up the plane, I shook all over and I had the fear- you know, that kind of fear that womenfolk have. I thought I would have a fatal accident in the plane!
       Inside the plane, was a red carpet. That kind of carpet that the dignitaries walks on. I sat next to the co- pilot  who was a lady and felt the joy of watching our journey.  The plane  was divided into two rows. Each row having a capacity of three seats. The plane would only carry five fifty people.
      At first, the plane moved along its path way. We later took off to the sky slowly.  By this time, the plane had not stablished. We were still hunging in the mid-way sky. The pilot seemed to be engaged with too many things- the way a DJ finds  too many things to caress.
      When the Plane had taken its stability, we all smiled with assurance of our journey. Wonderful hostesses began serving us. I personally felt humbled to have them serve me. I came across this girl in the plane. She was a hostess. She did me nice services and I couldn’t help asking her where she came from. This is after we had travelled for almost  thirty minutes. The girl seemed familiar at first. It did occur to me that I was mistaken but that was a good sheer coincidence. I at first thought she was Wangeci, the daughter of our house help. The house help had raised me up in the absence of my busy parents. Her name too was Wangeci- just like our  house help’s daughter before her. She was this kind of a humble friend who gave me extra services. With my recent complains with my health, I could not afford to take every other diet. She was too good for me. When I left the plane later, I left her my address promising to get back to her soon. That was my life with my Wangeci.
      My stay In Los Angeles was quite good. I met good lecturers who became my friends. This was strictly women! They seemed to strengthen women with a certain unknown passion. In fact, I later shifted  to stay with a certain widow lecturer who seemed to trace her origin in Africa. That is where I came face to face with the real humble life. The lecturer was an associate professor having written so many books yet very humble. All her children had been to various countries either in school or working. The first born was in Lebanon, the second in Wales while the third was in Philippine.
      Its in this place that I shared about you and our kind. She seemed so moved by your love for me and my child. I explained to her that you earned a living through editing hustle. I too explained to her your struggles to have your books published by a good publishing company which would do the market all over. I shared your blog link with her and a few of my friends. She was amazed to see the great talent you Maina.” At this point, I could not hesitate from smiling broadly. I squeezed myself next to her and urged her to please continue.
        “ I told her about your efforts in writing your blog yet people in Kenya did not embrace a reading culture. She asked me which course you were currently pursuing and I broadly told her you were pursuing a masters in Literature having two other degrees in pocket. She was grateful and gave a date I would see her at her department.
        University of Carlifonia was a big University. It was the biggest University with a population of thirty eight thousand, five hundred and fifty. It was followed by Riverside Community college.
            After having spent my time in the Library, I remembered that I had an appointment with my Lecturer. Without wasting time. I closed my bag and took a lift to the ground floor. The security officers checked my bag at the exit and off I was.
         I felt tired to begin another activity but when I thought of your unchanging love, I pressed on. I arrived on time. Professor Lucy informed me that she had communicated with the head- Linguistics Department. The head had his former student- now CEO, Los Angeles Times newspaper. The CEO was to be appointed by the head of the  state as an ambassador Britain. It was urgent and the CEO was to leave the office. But on the contrary, he would not just quit having been connected to the Job by the Linguistics professor. It was also a bit tricky as the  news paper was the widely read News paper in Los Angeles. The CEO had just received the Carlifonian Award of the year for his good leadership skills exhibited.”
         I swallowed some saliva in great anticipation for the unfolding of the story but just before she went on, Mum called. Yak! How on earth would she interrupt me when a good opportunity is here with me! I picked the call, “ Morning son, we have woken up well and now needs to go.” She said. “ Morning too mum, we are in fact about to come in two minute’s time!’’ Shonnet looked at me, smiled. I embraced her and said, “ babie I love you so much, thanks for your love, we shall soon go to that Los Angeles.”
   Check for the next story- My family and I leaves for Los Angeles!   

SHONNET KISSES MAINA AT THE AIRPORT!

                     
   I was in my Range Rover Sport pulling out from the supermarket. My son Wilhelm had taken the first seat always playing with his ‘pajero’ toy and constantly clutching my T-shirt. It was a nice experience at the supermarket with a small boy talking in English to his Daddy. Wilhelm was the centre of attraction to many attendants. They felt ecstatic talking with my boy in English, some would grin as they tried to take after my son’s accent with a fail. I stopped, got out and held my son to my chest walking into the music shop. ‘ Heey! Daddy…I wonna walk, am not a kid, needs to go checking for toys’ said my boy. I looked at my son with a grin and then brought him down. The two of us in shorts clad, T-shirts and open shoes, walked along an alley as Wilhelm pocketed like a mature boy. We bought one DVD to play at home and slipped out. Just before I ignited and accelerated, somebody called from opposite direction. ‘ Heey! Westie mundu wa nyumba.’ ( Heey! Westie one of our family’). Looking from behind thro’ my side mirror, it was Nding’oing’o my classmate. ‘ Heey comrade, long time  no see? How is the one who bore your father?’ said Nding’oing’o. ‘ Aha! How good of you to meet me after so many years, ooh sorry she’s well as you can see her son, Wilhelm… great my long time comrade, he’s your uncle .’ I said. My comrade got in and we now headed to Muthaiga from the city centre.
      The jam in the city centre wasn’t big so we managed to extricate ourselves with less difficulties. We went on talking with Nding’oing’o as Wilhelm played all typical plays kinds do. He would stand, hold the steering, look back or even hold the dangling bird on my car. While this went on, we exchanged our talk with my comrade. It was the other day we had been struggling in Kimondo High school. We later began hustling for job in Mwea with a fail. What we never stopped from wondering is how time ran fast. Just the other day I was to be jailed for love. Now I was  swimming in that love. Nothing good comes easily!
    Now this is how our first years were with Shonnet. Her parents educated her and was thro’ with her course within no time. Our first years in marriage was spent moving out every weekend. I would take her to luxurious hotels, snake parks, animal parks, museums, and one holiday in beach. That holiday we spent at the beach is vivid in my memory as if it just happened yesterday. Though Shonnet is not here with me, I can tell in half dozen words. Being a man calls for creativity. Being creative calls for more and better functioning brains. Slow witted boys will never know of this! I realized what my love needed most after we married was company, care and love. I therefore decided to divert all my attention to her. When I was out of office, I was no longer the Editor-In-Chief any more. I dropped that immediately I closed my office. I became a loving husband and the most caring one!
  After all those wonderful outings, I decided to take my love to the beach. That was at Mombasa. When I spilt the beans, Shonnet was most excited, the typical excitement with girls. “ ooh my God, for real? You wonna take me to Mombasa? Ooh my God! I can’t imagine this. I love you my man! You are my hero.” She quickly held me and gave me a warm hug kissing me like hell.” Huuh! I was surprised at this. I felt the heroic feeling a president feels after meeting the press. I immediately confused this and began walking to the dinning room waving and greeting at unknown people. My girl realized this and gave me a quick stare that made me think stupid of myself. I quickly came back to myself. I thought myself to have been in a reverie.
    When we went to the coast, I carried my longtime friend- guitar. At the periphery of the beach, we would seat on sand and I in my best romantic voice, would sing for my love love songs as I played the guitar. I did it so well that one time she got moved, shed tears and began caressing my eyebrows. I stopped playing the guitar but still singing in still small voice. That was Shonnet and I at the coast. Today, she is not there!
       I was almost side trapped from my story. We got in and there we were at the coach. “ Heey! Comrade, how did you acquire all this wealth in such a short time? But all the same, comrade.. you married wealth bana. Rumor has it that, Shonnet’s Mum is a Criminal Investigating Officer while ‘your Daddy’ is a Lawyer with a big farm in this city…eeeh comrade come on!” I was a bit shy with the way Nding’oing’o was coining his rhetorical questions, he looked a talented comical man. “ Nding’oing’o you must be very crooked! Anyway, hold on as I prepare our supper man! Wilhelm… please stop watching and get to your books, remember tomorrow you are on your way back to school!”
   “Maina you must be the most crooked, i mean where on earth is your love? She divorced you man..? Huuuh! These women shall burn all in hell fire, not a piece shall be left.” Said Nding’oing’o. “ Oooh no comrade, I’ll tell you, it ain’t comic as you says it. She’s on an academic tour.” I said. “ Academic tour did you say? You mean it? Heeey man! Come off this joke now, we need not ride it for too long. So can you tell me where Mum Wilhelm is?”
   “It’s simple man! Lets take this coffee as we chat.” I said in well composed manner. Ndig’oing’o sat making his knees stick together as he listened my story. I gave a reluctant grin as i  began my story.             “ Shonnet and I love each other so much and are not willing to separate.” I said. “ Came on Maina! But you have already separated.” Said Nding’oing’o. “ Now, if am going to narrate you, you must do the hearing. Well, what did I say last now? Well, I see it! I was on the point of separation before you interrupted me foolishly. In fact, I engaged myself to Shonnet when she was in High School. By the time, our love for each other was burning than hell fire. Though it’s still doing. I would die for her and she would die for me! Eeeeh….. see? By the time, we were so poor that I lived in thutched house. My bed was infested by bedbugs and mice. But she still loved me and payed me visit. One time that I won’t forget was the time she came and tried cleaning my room. Not just cleaning eeeh? She did the sweeping for her first time in life. She coughed terribly bad and tells me she later went to hospital and was admitted for one night. Her mother asked for the source of the cough with no avail. She was allergic to dust yet kept paying me visit and wanted to sweep over and over again. She would at times help my poor mum who was by then ailing. She would help her cook lunch though she knew nothing about cooking. She was a typical cook who would deep in kales, onion, tomatoes, fat and even a knife to the sufuria and wait it to cook on the fire. Mum loved her so much for her handwork and desire to know.” I narrated.  
     “ Shonnet was a girl of uncontaminated love. She had love for the poor though her parents were conceited parents. She was the only hope in their family. Her parents were against her marrying me. They called me poor breed. Good for nothing idiot. It is not until she decided to commit suicide that the parents agreed with her. She had threatened to be dead the following day. Seeing there being no other hope, the parents complied. We later got married but many things happened before our union. She would stay hungry in my latrine like cube as her parents enjoyed squandering their money. Dear Nding’oing’o, I vowed by the name of my grandmother never to accept any coin sent from them. I would not take it, even if they were to insert the coins into my poor hollow pockets. I would drop the pants down and run. I decided we would better die of hunger than flourish in their money. They gave her a week, two months and three months to return. Shonnet was not the type!”
       “ Two years later, things began changing. I saw an advert in the Daily Nation. Without delay, I applied and became a junior editor. Later on we moved to Nairobi and life became tolerable. One Wenesday in my office, I saw some scholarships in the newspapers and took to my wife to apply. We agreed she would apply though at first she was adamant. One day to the deadline, she applied and was miraculously picked. We planned everything so that she can leave for America. We had to plan about our kid…you see ? Well, we later on came to a conclusion that I would live with the child though the child is in a boarding school and in holidays he is with her grandmother in Sagana. Finally the Day came to escort her to the airport. I did so with my son Wilhelm using her car that I had bought. We arrived at the airport three hours earlier just as is the norm. During this time, she went through the security scrutiny and was through. When the time had finally come, I tried withholding my tears but It was not possible. Nding’oing’o I must tell you this, though am a man with all this education, am weak in the place of love. Am too emotional! It’s a big shame that I caused Wilhelm to cry, two babies crying. One big baby cried literally. Shonnet realized this and understood her man, she gave me a shoulder to lean on and a big deep French kiss and said, “ I promise to keep your love my man. ”  Just before I completed my sentence, Nding’oing’o fell with a thud. He had fainted! Huuuuuh!  I looked around to see my son Wilhelm. He was not there. He had long gone to sleep. “ Heey! Comrade, what’s wrong? Wake up bwana.” I said. I tried waking him up but he was long gone. When he woke up, he had the following to say, “ Hold on comrade, don’t narrate to me that story before i do mine. I can tell its end from very far. I fell long ago into a trace when I began relating with mine.”
        “Five years ago, I had a girlfriend whom I loved so much that I could do anything to make her happy. Her name was Annet, she was a jovial girl whom I introduced to my friends, relatives and parents. She was very caring in the first one year. Always calling when I was late, “ Hello my love, where are you please? It’s getting late my love. Please come quickly, can’t eat cant sleep without you.” Those words made me crazy and especially her voice crying over the phone. By then, we lived in a “bed sitter” room. I was the breadwinner earning fifteen thousand per month. That was exactly enough to eat, pay rent, buy her new cloths while I bought second hand cloths. I lived for her and her alone. When life became too hard for me in the city, I proposed we get back to the village and earn a living there. She could not hear of it, I decided to stick there in the name of seeking for a better job. She too found a scholarship to travel to the same America for her studies in Public Relations which by then was not marketable in our country. At first I was overjoyed but when I saw the chances of her coming back as my love were very slim, slim like a needle, I began getting worried. In the name of trying to keep the same love I had for her, this is what we did:
       I asked my poor mother and father sell my inheritance in the name of her coming back and buying us a plot in Nairobi. My parents were excited at their ‘daughter in law’, they did so in the hope of her becoming their savior who would help their son as well as them. Eeeeh comrade..? sema kuota mchana! ( Eeeeh comrade, say dreaming on daytime!). Sema kukufia mrembo! (say dying for the beautiful one!) I saw ourselves swelling rich, eeeh comrade? Stinking rich, swimming in riches comrade. My father sold my portion in haste at a very low price. It was not enough, it barely arrived at a half way price. I said to myself, good Nding’oing’o sell all your property- shoes, cloths and the likes, even when it calls to sell your bed, tomorrow you gonna wake up in America. Eeeh … wake up with a learned wife talking thro’ the nose. I became now crazy than before. I sold my everything and sent Annet to her home.”
         “ We hired Mwangi’s lorry to ferry all those willing to give a push to my wife. My father became very conceited and hostile. He refused Irungu son of Ndung’u to travel with him on the grounds that, he was not in a tie. You should have seen the old man having won his tie in the first time. It sagged to the knees having bent on one side of his neck. His oversize shoes which he walked on, I mean pulling them and checking whether they are complying. He and her girlfriend looked cartoons. We all sunk into the lorry. You should have been there to see my father helping people climb the lorry. He would at times push their bum thro’ his head. When all the members had sank in, the lorry refused completely to move. My father asked all of us out to push and ride as it moves. Comrade, you should have seen him signaling us out. All women were to remain in and enjoy our push. We did so with success. Our lorry moved. All women spat on their old breasts in the Gikuyu way of giving thanks.” We now ran after it my father leading.
    When we had reached a town called Murio wa nda (sweetness of the stomach) which was well known for its sweet bananas, the lorry developed a puncture. We all got out and had to attend to it!
        “We went and escorted her to the airport till she was through with all the legal process. She took a plane after hugging us and kissing me and off she was. I tell you dear comrade, I became ten times ten poorer than before. I had no work. A lot of debts and no where to hide. I would hide in the hotels but even there, I was not safe. I ran back home to seek refuge but even there, the poor people followed me. I sat down and said to myself: good Nding’oing’o, you can do better than keeping on running hide and seek game. I decided to borrow an old shop like building in the name of paying rent when I begin my business. On the wall, I wrote: NEW NDING’OING’O’S  MALL,coming soon!! Immediately, I ran back to Nairobi and left the people waiting for the new mall. This is what they had in mind: we shall give this man a chance to open the mall and pay us our debts! Poor them, they would wait until the kingdom cames.  Bright swift Nding’oing’o had gone and would never seen him again.”
     “ When the day finally came, I came out of my hide out to meet my love whom in her name I had suffered much. I couldn’t stop from imagining how good I would feel when we buy a plot after all that hide and seek game. My parents, relatives, friends and I had gone to the airport to meet my love, and do you know what happened there? Dear comrade, allow me to first pick my two glasses of water. I tell you comrade, it’s hard to finish. Annet got out of the plane followed by a white man holding a child on her arms. We had all made a line from my dad who dearly missed ‘her daughter’, myself and all others at  my back. My father was the first to collapse, with all his efforts, from his land to Mwangi’s lorry. Dear comrade, I watched with my mouth.’’ Said Nding’oing’o in tears. I too began sobbing when I remembered my efforts to remain with Wilhelm, I wondered whether or not my love would come with another white child and ‘his man’. I pulled my handkerchief when a hot stream of tears began burning my face as they fell to the floor. I remembered I had bought a record from a music shop. It would do the healing to Nding’oin’go. What moved me is its sheer coincidence. The song began playing soothing Nding’oing’o’s heart.
Nilikua na mchumba wangu, tulipendana kama nyama choma
Alibahatika kwenda ng’ambo, chuo kikuu kwenda kusoma
Miaka mitatu kule Japani, kusomea udaktari Stella wangu eeeh…..
…nikauza shamba langu, sababu yake yeye
Nikauza gari langu, sababu yake yeye
Nikauza ng’ombe na mbuzi, sababu yake yeye ili apate nauli yote na pesa nyingine ya matumizi huko Japani….
Ilikua tarehe kumi na tano mwezi wa tano
Ndio iliokua tarehe kamili ya Stella kurudi Kenya, nilikwenda uwanja wa ndege kwenda kumlaki Stella
Nilikua na Uncle Kilinda uwanja wa ndege, nilikua na Bathili  mwa Kulomba na mkewe na watoto wake,
Nilikua na Uncle Mshomba….nilikua na ndugu Afisi mtoto wa Mombasa
Gafla  ndege ilipotua uwanjani tuliona vituko, Stella alishuka akiwa amebeba mtoto mkononi
Nyuma yake mchumba wake mfupi, futi nne mjapani
Nilisikitika ndani ya moyo nikakosa la kufanya, nilitamani nilie kikamba lakini sikijui
Nilitamini nilie kihindi lakini sikijui, ilinibidi nilie kitaita lugha ya mama na baba
(The song: Stella wangu- was originally performed by Freshly Mwamburi)
           As the music came to an end, Nding’oingo had already fainted on the couch. I didn’t  do that deliberate, I was so sorry. I looked at him and thought to myself, you too westie are not exceptional, now that your love is abroad. Wait for the same!
Check the next story, Return to Kenya!
(Story by Joram West, Literature Student Kenyatta University)

JAILED FOR LOVE

                                                         

        Maina had been a young man who came from Mwea. This was the hottest place in the whole of Kirinyaga County. Many boys from this village walked almost pausing nudity. In classes, boys wore inner vests while girls wore no underwears. Though tough weather, the children from this area did very well and made it to Campus. They believed in the power of a book and a pen, they had no otherwise. Those in nursery school, did their chants amicably well while those in high schools enjoyed the joy of poetry. They enjoyed the poetic texture of rhyme,consonance as well as assonance. Those in Universities enjoyed phonetics, phonology and literature, they really lived up to their dreams. Most of the parents from Mwea spitted saliva on their chests in the Gikuyu way of thanking the God of Mt. Kirinyaga.

      Maina sat under a Mukuyu tree and read the following.

                ‘ Maina, you’re the  most cutest boy I have ever seen. I sought for a chocolate boy, I didn’t want a brown boy as too am brown. This  would have made the  matter worse. I also sought for a slightly taller than me boy. A boy I would look up and would look down to kiss me. A boy I would  give the French kiss. Not a big oversize boy but a slender and size number one  handsome boy. A faithful boy who would care and give me all his heart without reservations and divided royalty. I would  embark on giving him all me solely, that would turn us to forever soulmates. I write this  letter informing you the much you means into my life. Maina, I like your height, your swaggish hairstyle, your tall limbs, bewitching eyes, soft lips and your sweet tasting tongue. I also like your coolly face texture, what of your walking style? it kills me dear. Aki  Maina I love you, woishey come and pay me a visit at my home ‘coz my dad and mum are so strict. They said if I gets out without their permission ill have to move in with you. Please come and save me from your love, my heart stops beating at the thought of you. It resumes back after the thoughts of Njeri, Ciku or even Mwihaki. But these womenfolk have nothing good to give me, poor them. Please come, come dear come. I miss you very much. Come dear come.’

           Maina could not read it anymore. Not with those touching vibes. Maina had to rise up for it was in the hour of need. He would be her saviour. A saviour who would turn her to a hero. A hero who would join other womenfolk. A fellow womenfolk who would turn to his legend. A legend who would die for him thereby becoming a matyr. This was all she wanted.

          Maina was a student  at Zito University, they had nicknamed it Wazito.  He was a handsome young man, the typical boy that all chicks in the world dream about. Indeed , he was too handsome that her girlfriend Shonnet, feared this. This was not the usual fear. This is the typical fear that most girls and boys have. For most girls moving out with  handsome boys are always afraid of getting married to such cute guys as it would be hell and hectic to keep away other fellow girlfriends from the boy. Too, many

boys fears getting married to most beautiful chicks as they would give them hell time in chasing away suitors who pesters around even after getting married. But all the same, it wasn’t  worth taking an ugly face in sea of beautiful handsome girls and boys. This is paradoxical. Yak!

        Maina loved metaphysics which is a study of theory of reality. He would wonder  whether reality is one or many. He too loved epistemology which is the theory of knowledge. He would wonder what knowledge is. He would too wonder  how he knew he knew. Most of all, he cherished an area of philosophy called logic. This is the reasoned thought about reasoning and argumentation. He would wonder how fallacies are committed in reasoning. This staggered him when he thought it. He would therefore criticize small things and make a mountain out of a mole hill. Most of his friends had come to like his logical way of thinking, anyway they could not help.

        Shonnet had been travelling from a supermarket when she gave the piece of paper to Maina’s  younger brother. Shonnet had  engaged herself to Maina when in form four. She would die for Maina. Maina on the other side  had loved Shonnet and hated himself. Though he came from a disadvantaged poverty stricken home, he was most loved by Shonnet for what  he would give Shonnet not a parent would give. The father to Shonnet had been a lawyer at Freestyle city while the mother worked as a criminal investgating officer at the coast far from home. She seldom appeared at home but the father kept an eye to her daughter. Shonnet had come to hate  the lonely life she had lived over the years. The house help had been so strict and her driver was not flexible, he would not take  her out apart from school. But Shonnet needed someone, no! not someone but somebody, yah, that sounds better. Somebody to lean on. Not of her mettle. No, but of different. A boy to rest on from much desperation and longtime lonliness. It was in that  time that all her body organs were screaming at the sight of a mere boy.  They would scream till the kingdom comes.

      Maina had been attending a few philosophy classes. He still called to remembrance one time when the lecturer told them, ‘ Everything that happens is governed by reason, further more, when a need is so much persistent, it has to be satisfied there and there.’ This was philosophy. It made fun to students. He always felt grateful for his lecturers. They would spit the oracle with vehemence and vigour. Even so, Maina had began missing his only girlfriend. It was at the end of the semester. That  was it , that was it.

    It was at the peak season  for both parents to Shonnet. They were too busy for their kid and the kid waS so idle and desperate for Maina her hero. One night, Maina had a prolonged chat with Shonnet. The two were invisible schemers and had the following chat:

            ‘ hi beb, du yu still lv me?’

                ‘yap’

               ‘bt yu don invt me @ ua om or it bcoz mah dad hs died a poor man?’

               ‘ akh beb shun frm syin tht, its hrd 4u tew cm hr coz cctv r al over, plz ill cm morox 2 shre u mah                             lv, plz knou I lv u n cn die 4 u.’

                         ‘bt beb wud u dfend m in a court of lw if …’ the chat was cut off without a reply from Shonnet.

    That was the kind of chat they had. That was it, that was it. 

        Maina was comfortably seated on a bed enjoying reading a novel. The novel was captivating as one boy had to make a difficult decision after impregnating a high schooler. The boy had been sponsored to travel to a University abroad to further his studies in political science. But here was a village girl who had moved in with her belongings. There was disturbance at the door. Maina got out only to find the nuisance cow which untethered was now busy munching Maina’s flowerbed. Maina  got out and furiously beat the  cow very hard. This had in turn reminded him of the scenario which had taken place in high school during the strike. Maina and his comrades had chosen to beat up school cows as well as poor pigs. Maina and his comrades choose to cut all the tails of the school cows. Even this very day, all the mother cows in Kimondo high school have remained tailless. They only have coccyx. Coccyx which are almost extinct. So extinct like the nipples of men’s breasts.

         Maina  went back again and sat  to enjoy his novel. There was disturbance at the door again. At first, it seemed like a person pushing the door and later like a knock. ‘ Yak! Cow! idiot….! What hell are you giving me you cow?’ Upon opening the door, it was Shonnet.

            ‘Am sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you……..’ Said Maina. ‘But am okey my love.’ Said Shonnet. Those words were enough to make her fall on his chest. Immediately she fell on his chest, his nuisance mother called. Yak ! Maina ignored and locked himself in with the girl inside the cube.

         ‘ Can you tell me why you came? You wonna put my little life with my mum in danger. So.. soo tell me why you came before hell breaks loose? But why did you come without notice? Did you get permission please ‘coz am not ready to host you in my grass thatched house.’ Maina had began retreating to the bed as she tried pushing away Shonnet. ‘ If you have nothing good to give me, tell me, but keep in your mind that love knows no bound, whether you are poor or not, my rich mum wont marry me nor my rich dad, I needs a man of my choice to marry me and inherit my father’s property.’ Said Shonnet. ‘ But I cant marry you ‘coz am in school and with my old mum who is yet to go for an eye operation. Said maina. ‘ But I love you and will ask dad to take care of her for the whole time she will be bedridden.’ Said Shonnet.

          The night was cool and soft, it was so silent that you would hear the two chaps breathing. The banana leaves were still listening, they were so still to see whether anything would take place. The grass too was silent and gave reluctant cold, the kind of cold that would pull maina close and close to Shonnet. Shonnet by now wasn’t breathing, she lay there with her long hair soft and tender. At eleven the wall began to smile, at first it was grinning but later on, it began sniggering.

         The following month, Maina had appeared in court. Her poor mother and relatives had  come  to witness her son being jailed. She had been accused of abducting a school girl and holding her in his poor room for his own gratifications. It was also alleged that the girl was pregnant according to the information from her doctor. Shonnet’s mother appeared with his husband to see the poor boy jailed for life. He had destroyed their reputation and worse of all, the girl was pregnant bearing a kid from poor seeds. They would not imagine their blood mingling with another blood stinking of poverty and commonness.

            Everybody seemed excited and you could see from their look. The parents sat at the middle with the cousins to Shonnet. They would not stop from wondering why Shonnet had bent so low. Should have sought for a better boy! They thought. Maina’s mother who by now only saw vague images, sat at the back where commoners stinking of commonness illiteracy and poverty sat. Maina swept through the hall to see Shonnet. She was not there or if she was, she had a veil.

                  Shonnet’s advocate stood up to face the poor boy. He accused him of forcefully abducting Shonnet. He was also accused of raping a school under age girl in his cube. Those two accusations were enough to send Maina’s mother crying. She wept and wept bitterly. She wished she would be jailed on his behalf. By now she had sold her one cow to get treatment with no avail.

                 Maina stood in a confident gait and was ready to defend himself. He narrated the small story about their love affair and their conversation everyday. He said that the girl came on her own volition and had to send her home. ‘ But she was so stubborn to me, I would not do otherwise. I allowed her in. She loves me and we plan to get married as soon as we finish school.’ Said Maina. The judge lowered his sunglasses and cleared her voice to give verdict. But just before that, Shonnet was brought to confess her love to this boy. She  stood and said: ‘ Maina is my love, I love him soo much and if he’s jailed, I’ll too be jailed with him. If you don’t, ill ask my loving dad to collect my dead body by tomorrow at the same hour as this. For it is with my own limbs did I come to his home after starvation, desperation and loneliness of living with no parents. My mum works at the Coast and comes twice in an year. My father has kept her own mistresses out there and  seldom comes home. Only when he needs to pay our driver, nurse, househelp and other workers at home. Now tell me judge, who a girl would allow to seat that lonely when a caring boy is here. See her poor mother, she’s almost running blind with no one to care for her. She is my mum and her son is my babbie. His son is the most handsome guy a’ve ever found on earth and in  whom I share my monthly periods pains which are excruciating with. Judge, it’s prudent to jail these two busy hypocritical parents and release my boy. Am through and find me as good as dead. Am gone’

           The judge released her glasses down and and with her blackish burial gown looked at the parents. She looked too at the small girl and shook her head. Maina wished Shonnet would yell at the poor judge asking her to mind about her  daughter too.

            The judge gave her verdict, she released Maina and fined both parents a fine of five hundred thousand each for tormenting and torturing their daughter emotionally.They were too asked to carry the old mother to her home Upon hearing that, Shonnet rushed to her saviour and gave her a hug and a kiss. ‘ You are a hero, I love you’ She said. She rushed to her mother in law to be  and gave a hug saying, ‘ This is my mum, if you want me in school, send her school fees and take her to a better hospital.’ The three walked out of the court leaving Shonnet’s mother, dad and her cousins. A feeling of heroism crept on Maina’s face. He opted a new walking gait, he took a presidential gait which he takes after meeting the press.

              Maina walked home with her girlfriend. Shonnet’s parents  promised to send fees every term to educate Shonnet and support Maina in Campus. They too agreed to help Maina’s mother seek better health services in India and build her a villa. Maina, Shonnet and her mother in began stinking rich and lived happily after that.

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