SHONNET KISSES MAINA AT THE AIRPORT!

                     
   I was in my Range Rover Sport pulling out from the supermarket. My son Wilhelm had taken the first seat always playing with his ‘pajero’ toy and constantly clutching my T-shirt. It was a nice experience at the supermarket with a small boy talking in English to his Daddy. Wilhelm was the centre of attraction to many attendants. They felt ecstatic talking with my boy in English, some would grin as they tried to take after my son’s accent with a fail. I stopped, got out and held my son to my chest walking into the music shop. ‘ Heey! Daddy…I wonna walk, am not a kid, needs to go checking for toys’ said my boy. I looked at my son with a grin and then brought him down. The two of us in shorts clad, T-shirts and open shoes, walked along an alley as Wilhelm pocketed like a mature boy. We bought one DVD to play at home and slipped out. Just before I ignited and accelerated, somebody called from opposite direction. ‘ Heey! Westie mundu wa nyumba.’ ( Heey! Westie one of our family’). Looking from behind thro’ my side mirror, it was Nding’oing’o my classmate. ‘ Heey comrade, long time  no see? How is the one who bore your father?’ said Nding’oing’o. ‘ Aha! How good of you to meet me after so many years, ooh sorry she’s well as you can see her son, Wilhelm… great my long time comrade, he’s your uncle .’ I said. My comrade got in and we now headed to Muthaiga from the city centre.
      The jam in the city centre wasn’t big so we managed to extricate ourselves with less difficulties. We went on talking with Nding’oing’o as Wilhelm played all typical plays kinds do. He would stand, hold the steering, look back or even hold the dangling bird on my car. While this went on, we exchanged our talk with my comrade. It was the other day we had been struggling in Kimondo High school. We later began hustling for job in Mwea with a fail. What we never stopped from wondering is how time ran fast. Just the other day I was to be jailed for love. Now I was  swimming in that love. Nothing good comes easily!
    Now this is how our first years were with Shonnet. Her parents educated her and was thro’ with her course within no time. Our first years in marriage was spent moving out every weekend. I would take her to luxurious hotels, snake parks, animal parks, museums, and one holiday in beach. That holiday we spent at the beach is vivid in my memory as if it just happened yesterday. Though Shonnet is not here with me, I can tell in half dozen words. Being a man calls for creativity. Being creative calls for more and better functioning brains. Slow witted boys will never know of this! I realized what my love needed most after we married was company, care and love. I therefore decided to divert all my attention to her. When I was out of office, I was no longer the Editor-In-Chief any more. I dropped that immediately I closed my office. I became a loving husband and the most caring one!
  After all those wonderful outings, I decided to take my love to the beach. That was at Mombasa. When I spilt the beans, Shonnet was most excited, the typical excitement with girls. “ ooh my God, for real? You wonna take me to Mombasa? Ooh my God! I can’t imagine this. I love you my man! You are my hero.” She quickly held me and gave me a warm hug kissing me like hell.” Huuh! I was surprised at this. I felt the heroic feeling a president feels after meeting the press. I immediately confused this and began walking to the dinning room waving and greeting at unknown people. My girl realized this and gave me a quick stare that made me think stupid of myself. I quickly came back to myself. I thought myself to have been in a reverie.
    When we went to the coast, I carried my longtime friend- guitar. At the periphery of the beach, we would seat on sand and I in my best romantic voice, would sing for my love love songs as I played the guitar. I did it so well that one time she got moved, shed tears and began caressing my eyebrows. I stopped playing the guitar but still singing in still small voice. That was Shonnet and I at the coast. Today, she is not there!
       I was almost side trapped from my story. We got in and there we were at the coach. “ Heey! Comrade, how did you acquire all this wealth in such a short time? But all the same, comrade.. you married wealth bana. Rumor has it that, Shonnet’s Mum is a Criminal Investigating Officer while ‘your Daddy’ is a Lawyer with a big farm in this city…eeeh comrade come on!” I was a bit shy with the way Nding’oing’o was coining his rhetorical questions, he looked a talented comical man. “ Nding’oing’o you must be very crooked! Anyway, hold on as I prepare our supper man! Wilhelm… please stop watching and get to your books, remember tomorrow you are on your way back to school!”
   “Maina you must be the most crooked, i mean where on earth is your love? She divorced you man..? Huuuh! These women shall burn all in hell fire, not a piece shall be left.” Said Nding’oing’o. “ Oooh no comrade, I’ll tell you, it ain’t comic as you says it. She’s on an academic tour.” I said. “ Academic tour did you say? You mean it? Heeey man! Come off this joke now, we need not ride it for too long. So can you tell me where Mum Wilhelm is?”
   “It’s simple man! Lets take this coffee as we chat.” I said in well composed manner. Ndig’oing’o sat making his knees stick together as he listened my story. I gave a reluctant grin as i  began my story.             “ Shonnet and I love each other so much and are not willing to separate.” I said. “ Came on Maina! But you have already separated.” Said Nding’oing’o. “ Now, if am going to narrate you, you must do the hearing. Well, what did I say last now? Well, I see it! I was on the point of separation before you interrupted me foolishly. In fact, I engaged myself to Shonnet when she was in High School. By the time, our love for each other was burning than hell fire. Though it’s still doing. I would die for her and she would die for me! Eeeeh….. see? By the time, we were so poor that I lived in thutched house. My bed was infested by bedbugs and mice. But she still loved me and payed me visit. One time that I won’t forget was the time she came and tried cleaning my room. Not just cleaning eeeh? She did the sweeping for her first time in life. She coughed terribly bad and tells me she later went to hospital and was admitted for one night. Her mother asked for the source of the cough with no avail. She was allergic to dust yet kept paying me visit and wanted to sweep over and over again. She would at times help my poor mum who was by then ailing. She would help her cook lunch though she knew nothing about cooking. She was a typical cook who would deep in kales, onion, tomatoes, fat and even a knife to the sufuria and wait it to cook on the fire. Mum loved her so much for her handwork and desire to know.” I narrated.  
     “ Shonnet was a girl of uncontaminated love. She had love for the poor though her parents were conceited parents. She was the only hope in their family. Her parents were against her marrying me. They called me poor breed. Good for nothing idiot. It is not until she decided to commit suicide that the parents agreed with her. She had threatened to be dead the following day. Seeing there being no other hope, the parents complied. We later got married but many things happened before our union. She would stay hungry in my latrine like cube as her parents enjoyed squandering their money. Dear Nding’oing’o, I vowed by the name of my grandmother never to accept any coin sent from them. I would not take it, even if they were to insert the coins into my poor hollow pockets. I would drop the pants down and run. I decided we would better die of hunger than flourish in their money. They gave her a week, two months and three months to return. Shonnet was not the type!”
       “ Two years later, things began changing. I saw an advert in the Daily Nation. Without delay, I applied and became a junior editor. Later on we moved to Nairobi and life became tolerable. One Wenesday in my office, I saw some scholarships in the newspapers and took to my wife to apply. We agreed she would apply though at first she was adamant. One day to the deadline, she applied and was miraculously picked. We planned everything so that she can leave for America. We had to plan about our kid…you see ? Well, we later on came to a conclusion that I would live with the child though the child is in a boarding school and in holidays he is with her grandmother in Sagana. Finally the Day came to escort her to the airport. I did so with my son Wilhelm using her car that I had bought. We arrived at the airport three hours earlier just as is the norm. During this time, she went through the security scrutiny and was through. When the time had finally come, I tried withholding my tears but It was not possible. Nding’oing’o I must tell you this, though am a man with all this education, am weak in the place of love. Am too emotional! It’s a big shame that I caused Wilhelm to cry, two babies crying. One big baby cried literally. Shonnet realized this and understood her man, she gave me a shoulder to lean on and a big deep French kiss and said, “ I promise to keep your love my man. ”  Just before I completed my sentence, Nding’oing’o fell with a thud. He had fainted! Huuuuuh!  I looked around to see my son Wilhelm. He was not there. He had long gone to sleep. “ Heey! Comrade, what’s wrong? Wake up bwana.” I said. I tried waking him up but he was long gone. When he woke up, he had the following to say, “ Hold on comrade, don’t narrate to me that story before i do mine. I can tell its end from very far. I fell long ago into a trace when I began relating with mine.”
        “Five years ago, I had a girlfriend whom I loved so much that I could do anything to make her happy. Her name was Annet, she was a jovial girl whom I introduced to my friends, relatives and parents. She was very caring in the first one year. Always calling when I was late, “ Hello my love, where are you please? It’s getting late my love. Please come quickly, can’t eat cant sleep without you.” Those words made me crazy and especially her voice crying over the phone. By then, we lived in a “bed sitter” room. I was the breadwinner earning fifteen thousand per month. That was exactly enough to eat, pay rent, buy her new cloths while I bought second hand cloths. I lived for her and her alone. When life became too hard for me in the city, I proposed we get back to the village and earn a living there. She could not hear of it, I decided to stick there in the name of seeking for a better job. She too found a scholarship to travel to the same America for her studies in Public Relations which by then was not marketable in our country. At first I was overjoyed but when I saw the chances of her coming back as my love were very slim, slim like a needle, I began getting worried. In the name of trying to keep the same love I had for her, this is what we did:
       I asked my poor mother and father sell my inheritance in the name of her coming back and buying us a plot in Nairobi. My parents were excited at their ‘daughter in law’, they did so in the hope of her becoming their savior who would help their son as well as them. Eeeeh comrade..? sema kuota mchana! ( Eeeeh comrade, say dreaming on daytime!). Sema kukufia mrembo! (say dying for the beautiful one!) I saw ourselves swelling rich, eeeh comrade? Stinking rich, swimming in riches comrade. My father sold my portion in haste at a very low price. It was not enough, it barely arrived at a half way price. I said to myself, good Nding’oing’o sell all your property- shoes, cloths and the likes, even when it calls to sell your bed, tomorrow you gonna wake up in America. Eeeh … wake up with a learned wife talking thro’ the nose. I became now crazy than before. I sold my everything and sent Annet to her home.”
         “ We hired Mwangi’s lorry to ferry all those willing to give a push to my wife. My father became very conceited and hostile. He refused Irungu son of Ndung’u to travel with him on the grounds that, he was not in a tie. You should have seen the old man having won his tie in the first time. It sagged to the knees having bent on one side of his neck. His oversize shoes which he walked on, I mean pulling them and checking whether they are complying. He and her girlfriend looked cartoons. We all sunk into the lorry. You should have been there to see my father helping people climb the lorry. He would at times push their bum thro’ his head. When all the members had sank in, the lorry refused completely to move. My father asked all of us out to push and ride as it moves. Comrade, you should have seen him signaling us out. All women were to remain in and enjoy our push. We did so with success. Our lorry moved. All women spat on their old breasts in the Gikuyu way of giving thanks.” We now ran after it my father leading.
    When we had reached a town called Murio wa nda (sweetness of the stomach) which was well known for its sweet bananas, the lorry developed a puncture. We all got out and had to attend to it!
        “We went and escorted her to the airport till she was through with all the legal process. She took a plane after hugging us and kissing me and off she was. I tell you dear comrade, I became ten times ten poorer than before. I had no work. A lot of debts and no where to hide. I would hide in the hotels but even there, I was not safe. I ran back home to seek refuge but even there, the poor people followed me. I sat down and said to myself: good Nding’oing’o, you can do better than keeping on running hide and seek game. I decided to borrow an old shop like building in the name of paying rent when I begin my business. On the wall, I wrote: NEW NDING’OING’O’S  MALL,coming soon!! Immediately, I ran back to Nairobi and left the people waiting for the new mall. This is what they had in mind: we shall give this man a chance to open the mall and pay us our debts! Poor them, they would wait until the kingdom cames.  Bright swift Nding’oing’o had gone and would never seen him again.”
     “ When the day finally came, I came out of my hide out to meet my love whom in her name I had suffered much. I couldn’t stop from imagining how good I would feel when we buy a plot after all that hide and seek game. My parents, relatives, friends and I had gone to the airport to meet my love, and do you know what happened there? Dear comrade, allow me to first pick my two glasses of water. I tell you comrade, it’s hard to finish. Annet got out of the plane followed by a white man holding a child on her arms. We had all made a line from my dad who dearly missed ‘her daughter’, myself and all others at  my back. My father was the first to collapse, with all his efforts, from his land to Mwangi’s lorry. Dear comrade, I watched with my mouth.’’ Said Nding’oing’o in tears. I too began sobbing when I remembered my efforts to remain with Wilhelm, I wondered whether or not my love would come with another white child and ‘his man’. I pulled my handkerchief when a hot stream of tears began burning my face as they fell to the floor. I remembered I had bought a record from a music shop. It would do the healing to Nding’oin’go. What moved me is its sheer coincidence. The song began playing soothing Nding’oing’o’s heart.
Nilikua na mchumba wangu, tulipendana kama nyama choma
Alibahatika kwenda ng’ambo, chuo kikuu kwenda kusoma
Miaka mitatu kule Japani, kusomea udaktari Stella wangu eeeh…..
…nikauza shamba langu, sababu yake yeye
Nikauza gari langu, sababu yake yeye
Nikauza ng’ombe na mbuzi, sababu yake yeye ili apate nauli yote na pesa nyingine ya matumizi huko Japani….
Ilikua tarehe kumi na tano mwezi wa tano
Ndio iliokua tarehe kamili ya Stella kurudi Kenya, nilikwenda uwanja wa ndege kwenda kumlaki Stella
Nilikua na Uncle Kilinda uwanja wa ndege, nilikua na Bathili  mwa Kulomba na mkewe na watoto wake,
Nilikua na Uncle Mshomba….nilikua na ndugu Afisi mtoto wa Mombasa
Gafla  ndege ilipotua uwanjani tuliona vituko, Stella alishuka akiwa amebeba mtoto mkononi
Nyuma yake mchumba wake mfupi, futi nne mjapani
Nilisikitika ndani ya moyo nikakosa la kufanya, nilitamani nilie kikamba lakini sikijui
Nilitamini nilie kihindi lakini sikijui, ilinibidi nilie kitaita lugha ya mama na baba
(The song: Stella wangu- was originally performed by Freshly Mwamburi)
           As the music came to an end, Nding’oingo had already fainted on the couch. I didn’t  do that deliberate, I was so sorry. I looked at him and thought to myself, you too westie are not exceptional, now that your love is abroad. Wait for the same!
Check the next story, Return to Kenya!
(Story by Joram West, Literature Student Kenyatta University)